Drunk again …
I am four beers and three pegs rum down in an unholy mix…..and I wonder , Why does liquor send a man to his reality zone…a place where for a moment of truth he dares see beyond all the glare blinding his minds view…….I can see the absurdity, the pain ,the misery, the hopeless walk….and all that in a conglomeration of chaos and confusion….I know for a fact that when I wake up tomorrow I will neither remember how I got here nor shall I remember why I found solace in this madness… ADS…alcoholic dependency syndrome don’t seem far away…. I have seen a love for rum and an undying thirst to bleed myself out…. I wish I had the guts to snuff it all away…. yet I drag on… “why”, is a mystery I will never know... Coz I know I will not see providence…a sinner for just too freaking long I guess heaven and hell don’t hold much for us…. I might have started going to church to save my heart of the loneliness’… But damn right I see myself burning in hell right…do I care… No….all I see is a puzzle and a weird way to make people believe in things that have brought nothing but hatred and fighting all over…from the war against terrorism to the crusades…. we all have our folly’s,.. No one is right…we ERR…. And that stands true all over, Saint and sinners all alike we live each day like there is a brighter tomorrow…. Fate keeps fooling us with its bag of incidents to make us drag the misery on…. Snuff it out… kill the pain and the injustice….
Why the rich and the poor…. Why is there a different life for all… why does envy make things worse with a tinge of unhappiness in every smile…we see the other to feel our strength…
the weaker the world.. The stronger are we…… shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aren’t we heading for destruction like never before…? The Mayans tell us of the end of an era on 21.12 .12…… that’s 21 December 2012 for the un initiated fools… the scientist tell us on Nat Geo of sun spots messing up earth max in 2012…. The earth’s magnetic field has a crack-the only thing that keeps the suns radiation away from minor sun spots …
.what else are we heading for…
WAR…the Chinese want to prove their might …the Americans want to stand their ground… and I will frigging well die before I let anyone of them prove me weaker…where does that lead us…..END OF THE WORLD>>>>I don’t care if the tigers go extinct … or if the Ozone vanishes,,,, coz I pretty much see the ego messing it all up with the third world war….kill em all…..
Each night I play one of those First person shooter games that sends me killing men, women and all, in a bid for glory and skill… wouldn’t I do the same in the real world… now that I know I can do worse… cold blooded killing doesn’t even come close…I have done evil to the hilt…and I am armed with a zillion answers to prove myself right…
But then I will be one of those insane NAZI breed creeps who can’t think,……….. and can kill without hate, without love and soul…. I am a Psychopath….and alas I am a painter And a Poet….. but the day I die, I will die a sinner and a bloody murderer….whether in glory or cowardice it wont matter… all that would - is that I too longed for an umbrella of love …a moment of sunny skies and a warm shore….. but then all I get is one frigging shit hole with all the misery the good world can shove this way… take a drag friend for I am too lost in my own drugged existence…I don’t need no medicines or cure… I am way beyond cure…I am way beyond human reach….I just need all the misery to drag no more…. To burn out and vanish….why am I….what am I…. who am I ……it don’t matter today ….and never will…..
…Just waiting for the ticking to end…
I am four beers and three pegs rum down in an unholy mix…..and I wonder , Why does liquor send a man to his reality zone…a place where for a moment of truth he dares see beyond all the glare blinding his minds view…….I can see the absurdity, the pain ,the misery, the hopeless walk….and all that in a conglomeration of chaos and confusion….I know for a fact that when I wake up tomorrow I will neither remember how I got here nor shall I remember why I found solace in this madness… ADS…alcoholic dependency syndrome don’t seem far away…. I have seen a love for rum and an undying thirst to bleed myself out…. I wish I had the guts to snuff it all away…. yet I drag on… “why”, is a mystery I will never know... Coz I know I will not see providence…a sinner for just too freaking long I guess heaven and hell don’t hold much for us…. I might have started going to church to save my heart of the loneliness’… But damn right I see myself burning in hell right…do I care… No….all I see is a puzzle and a weird way to make people believe in things that have brought nothing but hatred and fighting all over…from the war against terrorism to the crusades…. we all have our folly’s,.. No one is right…we ERR…. And that stands true all over, Saint and sinners all alike we live each day like there is a brighter tomorrow…. Fate keeps fooling us with its bag of incidents to make us drag the misery on…. Snuff it out… kill the pain and the injustice….
Why the rich and the poor…. Why is there a different life for all… why does envy make things worse with a tinge of unhappiness in every smile…we see the other to feel our strength…
the weaker the world.. The stronger are we…… shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aren’t we heading for destruction like never before…? The Mayans tell us of the end of an era on 21.12 .12…… that’s 21 December 2012 for the un initiated fools… the scientist tell us on Nat Geo of sun spots messing up earth max in 2012…. The earth’s magnetic field has a crack-the only thing that keeps the suns radiation away from minor sun spots …
.what else are we heading for…
WAR…the Chinese want to prove their might …the Americans want to stand their ground… and I will frigging well die before I let anyone of them prove me weaker…where does that lead us…..END OF THE WORLD>>>>I don’t care if the tigers go extinct … or if the Ozone vanishes,,,, coz I pretty much see the ego messing it all up with the third world war….kill em all…..
Each night I play one of those First person shooter games that sends me killing men, women and all, in a bid for glory and skill… wouldn’t I do the same in the real world… now that I know I can do worse… cold blooded killing doesn’t even come close…I have done evil to the hilt…and I am armed with a zillion answers to prove myself right…
But then I will be one of those insane NAZI breed creeps who can’t think,……….. and can kill without hate, without love and soul…. I am a Psychopath….and alas I am a painter And a Poet….. but the day I die, I will die a sinner and a bloody murderer….whether in glory or cowardice it wont matter… all that would - is that I too longed for an umbrella of love …a moment of sunny skies and a warm shore….. but then all I get is one frigging shit hole with all the misery the good world can shove this way… take a drag friend for I am too lost in my own drugged existence…I don’t need no medicines or cure… I am way beyond cure…I am way beyond human reach….I just need all the misery to drag no more…. To burn out and vanish….why am I….what am I…. who am I ……it don’t matter today ….and never will…..
…Just waiting for the ticking to end…
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